Mindfulness for the Rest of Us: Finding Stillness in the Noise of Life

By Shelley McInroy, BetterYou.coach

When Life Feels Like Too Much: The Call for Stillness

Have you ever woken in the morning to experience feeling no more rested than when you went to sleep? I have and I was waking up with as many cycling thoughts as I had the day before — I was overwhelmed.

My mind felt too full. I’ve often compared myself to a “hamster on a wheel”, endlessly spinning. That’s not necessarily what others see when they look at me — but it’s how I feel. “Go, go, go.” And then that fatigue, and the sense of everything being too much. A full calendar, a full mind — and the spaces in between too narrow to breathe into, too brief to find rest. Ugh.

My head was buzzing with noise. The constant buzz of phone calls, text messages, social media, internet chatter, demands, responsibilities, bills. Working, growing my business, showing up for people, juggling family concerns. Whoosh. It really felt like … a lot.

So, I went to my counsellor. And she asked me a simple question: “What do you need?”

I sat in the quiet, letting everything fall away for a moment. And I remembered that inner quiet — from what felt like a lifetime ago — lying on my back by the edge of a rocky lake, looking up, still, unmoving, simply being. Connected to the ground beneath me and the vastness in the sky above. Just breathing.

“Stillness,” I whispered.

And I realised: I’d been missing that space of simple presence — that place that exists in awareness, without judgement, with no need to do, fix, or change anything. It’s in that place that I find clarity. It’s mindfulness, in its truest form. Not worrying about past, future. Just being present. Living in the NOW.

Why Mindfulness Matters Now More Than Ever

It’s Not Just a Wellness Trend — It’s a Survival Tool

You might be thinking it’s just another buzzword. Maybe it is — but there’s a reason it keeps surfacing in conversations about wellbeing, mental health, and living more intentionally. I believe mindfulness is becoming increasingly essential as a return to something deeply human. For much of our history, being attentive to the present moment was simply how we lived. It was how we stayed safe, connected, and grounded. To wander through life without awareness of where we are or how we feel isn’t just disorienting; it can leave us untethered, unwell. Yet today, many of us drift through life distracted, pulled in so many directions at once. The pace of business, social media, life, the expectations seem somehow greater now. We are busy doing. So much doing.

We’re told to multi-task, but the truth is, our minds aren’t built for it. Instead, we’re faced with an endless stream of emails, messages, calls, updates, personal demands, and responsibilities. It’s a deluge of information — and much of it conflicting, misleading, or just plain overwhelming. And let’s be honest — today, it’s hard to be present. In this fast-paced, digitally driven world, presence has become something we need to consciously make space for. If not, we face what can quickly become disconnection, from ourselves, our lives, and what matters most.

What was once woven into the fabric of everyday life — stopping to take in the sky, the sound of birds, the feel of the air, the smell of wet earth, trees, rain – almost needs to be scheduled. But perhaps that’s the invitation: not to go back, but to remember how to be where we are, with intention. Living with intention, on purpose. With purpose. With awareness. Finding our own stillness, presence, and awareness is always available, even here, even now. Especially now.

What Is Mindfulness — and What It’s Not

Common Myths (That May Be Holding You Back)

Let’s start with a few common misconceptions:

• It’s not zoning out. Mindfulness is not about escaping reality or emptying your mind — it’s about meeting it, fully awake. It’s choosing to be here, with whatever’s present.
• It’s not about always being calm. Calm may come as a byproduct, not the goal. The goal is awareness — even when things feel uncomfortable or uncertain. Mindfulness makes space for the full range of our human experience.
• It’s not a performance. You don’t need to “do it right.” You are not being graded or evaluated. Mindfulness is simply the act of noticing — and when your mind wanders (as it will), gently bringing it back. You will get distracted. That’s part of the practice.
• It’s not about avoiding OR suppressing. Quite the opposite. It invites us to meet what’s within with honesty, curiosity, and self-compassion — without needing to fix, explain, or dismiss. No judgement.

Defining Mindfulness

A Personal Definition: What Mindfulness Feels Like to Me

I believe we each come to mindfulness in our own way. It’s personal. Just as each of us is unique in our very depth of being, so will the experience and defining of mindfulness. But I can tell you what it feels like for me — that quiet sense of awareness when I’m walking and I hear the crunch of leaves beneath my feet, or when I notice the shift in the air just before it rains. When I catch myself breathing — really breathing — and realise I’m here, in this body, in this moment. When I kayak and listen to the paddle dipping into the water, feel the pull of it, the gentle drops of water as the paddle lifts for the next stroke.

Mindfulness is tuning into life as it’s unfolding — whether that’s a conversation with someone you love, washing the dishes, feeling grief, or sitting in silence. It’s noticing what arises without rushing to judge it or push it away. It’s letting this moment matter, not because it’s extraordinary, but because it’s real.

Two Guiding Definitions of Mindfulness

Here are two definitions I’ve found that each reflect a different worldview:

The Dalai Lama describes mindfulness as “the alert, discerning mind that is fully aware of what is happening in the present.”

Ellen Langer, who helped introduce mindfulness to the Western world, says it’s “the process of actively noticing new things, relinquishing preconceived mindsets, and then acting on the new observations.”

Both definitions speak to presence. To noticing. Awakening to life.

Why Mindfulness Supports Emotional and Physical Wellbeing

We are living, breathing, feeling beings — not made for endless rush and hustle. When we lose touch with the present, we lose touch with ourselves. And when stillness becomes unreachable, we start living on automatic — surviving rather than living.

Neuroscience gives us some clues here. When we are stressed, our sympathetic nervous system — the part responsible for the ‘fight, flight or freeze’ response — takes the lead. Our bodies stay on high alert. Over time, this chronic state of activation wears us down, physically and emotionally. It’s exhausting. We forget how to pause.

But here’s the hopeful part: Research shows that awareness, even a small moment of it, can help calm the nervous system. It activates the parasympathetic nervous system — the one responsible for rest, repair, and recovery.

Mindfulness helps us:

• Interrupt the spirals of anxiety and rumination.
• Creates a pause — even if it’s just a breath’s worth of space — where choice lives.
• Prevent being swept away by old reactive habits.
• Respond with greater clarity, self-awareness, and compassion for our experience.
• Support emotional regulation. Rather than being consumed by anger, fear, or sadness, mindfulness allows us to notice the feeling, name it, sit with it — and move through it with greater resilience.

Stillness isn’t about escaping life. It was about living it more fully.

Simple Mindfulness Practices You Can Start Today

Mindfulness doesn’t have to look like sitting cross-legged on a cushion for an hour. It can weave itself gently into the fabric of your everyday life. Here are some simple ways to begin:

Sensory Anchoring:

Wherever you are right now, pause. Notice the feeling of your feet against the floor. Notice the air on your skin. Listen for any sounds around you — the hum of traffic, birdsong, the faint whirr of a computer. Let these sensations ground you.

Mindful Breathing:

Take three slow, deliberate breaths, exhaling long and slow, like a sigh of wind. Notice the air moving in through your nose, the slight lift of your chest, the gentleness of a that long release of breath. Nothing to change, nothing to force. Just breathe.

Mindful Eating:

Choose one bite of food. Really taste it. Notice the texture, the flavours, the sensation of chewing and swallowing. Eating mindfully reminds us that nourishment is an act of presence.

Mindful Walking:

Next time you walk, slow it down — even slightly. Feel the ground beneath your feet. Notice your surroundings — the sounds, colours, smells, shapes. Enjoy the sensation of moving your body, of living within it, of being.

Mindfulness with Emotions:

When strong feelings arise, pause. Name them silently: “Sadness.” “Frustration.” “Hope.” Allow them to exist without needing to act on them immediately. This practice, often called “Name It to Tame It,” helps the emotional brain calm and reconnect with the thinking brain.

Mindful Pauses:

Waiting at a red light? In a queue? Before replying to a text? Let those small moments be invitations to breathe, to notice, to come back to yourself.

Reminder: If your mind wanders — that’s not failure. That’s practice. Every return to the present is a success. Mindfulness is a relationship you build over time, unique to you, a relationship you build with yourself.

How to Begin When You’re Stressed, Scattered or Sceptical

You might be thinking, “This isn’t for me.” or some version of, “I can’t do this. I’m too anxious. I’m too busy. My mind is too messy.” If that’s you, take heart: you are exactly where you need to begin.

Here’s How To Start Where You Are:

• Set a tiny intention: “For the next three breaths, I will notice them.”
• Create small cues:
  • A sticky note on your desk that says “Breathe.”
  • A gentle alarm on your phone labelled “Come Back.”
  • A special object you keep nearby to touch and anchor yourself to the present. (I touch the stone on the necklace my daughter gave me.)
• Let go of the idea that you must feel calm immediately.
  • You’re not doing it wrong if you still feel anxious.
  • Mindfulness isn’t about forcing peace; it’s about making space for whatever is here.

Remember: Doing it messy is better than not doing it at all.

A Short Guided Mindfulness Moment

Take a deep breath in through your nose.
Let it out slowly through your mouth.
Notice the feeling of the air entering your body.
Notice the feeling as it leaves.
You are here. In this breath. In this moment.
And for now, that is enough.

Mindfulness: A Path to Inner Serenity

Mindfulness isn’t about shutting out the chaos. It’s about learning to meet life, just as it is, with a steadier heart.

You can be mindful in heartbreak.
You can be mindful through grief.
You can breathe through and with your anxiety, rather than battling it.

Inner serenity isn’t a perfect peace where nothing disturbs you. It’s a deeper anchoring — a groundedness that says, “Whatever happens, I can stay with myself.”

And over time, this groundedness grows. It becomes a place you can return to, again and again, no matter what storms may come.

A Letter to You, From One Human to Another

Dear Reader,

If your mind wandered while reading this, that’s perfectly okay. That’s what minds do. You are not broken. You are human.

And here you are — reading these words, breathing, being.

Maybe this moment — this breath, this heartbeat — is your first mindful moment of the day.

Let it be enough.

You don’t have to fix anything. You don’t have to be perfect.
You’re already here.

And that is a beautiful place to begin.

Warmly,

Shelley 🌹