Burned Out but Grateful — Why Thankfulness Doesn’t Erase Exhaustion

Episode 0002 — The Better You Show

You can love your life, practice gratitude every morning, and still feel completely drained.
That doesn’t make you ungrateful — it makes you human.

Watch The Episode

In this Article

• The Hidden Cost of “Be Grateful” Culture
• When Gratitude Masks Burnout
• The Identity of Overdoing
• Rest as a Radical Form of Gratitude
• Doing Less to Find More
• How to Begin Reclaiming Rest
• The Better You Perspective
• 🎧 Watch the Full Conversation
• 💌 Join Our Newsletter
• Final Reflection
  • Disclaimer

The Hidden Cost of “Be Grateful” Culture

The modern self-help world often treats gratitude as a magic fix — a mindset shift that can rewrite fatigue, sadness, or frustration. Yet for many women, gratitude has become another quiet pressure.
We know we should feel thankful, so when exhaustion creeps in, we don’t rest — we blame ourselves.

Counsellor Shelley, a mental-wellness coach from The Better You Show, notes that this pressure runs deep.

“We’ve been programmed to believe that we’ve got to just keep going and get up again and get it done. … When we arrive at that place where we’re exhausted, that’s a signal. That’s our bodies telling us it’s time for a break.”
— Shelley McInroy

The message that “gratitude fixes everything” can actually delay recovery. True healing begins when we learn to interpret fatigue not as failure, but as feedback.

When Gratitude Masks Burnout

High-achieving women often equate endurance with worth. Coach Sarah has seen how leadership roles, caregiving, entrepreneurship — all reinforce the idea that “rest is weakness.” It’s become a badge of honor.

“You can’t think your way out of burnout. You have to act your way out.”
— Mel Robbins

Her distinction is crucial. Gratitude shifts perspective, but it doesn’t replenish depleted energy reserves. Real recovery requires action — pausing, setting boundaries, sleeping, breathing — not just positive thinking.

“Gratitude changes the focus, not the physiology. … Your body is still exhausted even though your mind is saying, yes, I’m grateful.”
— Sarah Rajkumar

If the gratitude practice you once loved now feels hollow, it’s not because you’re doing it wrong. It’s because your body is asking for something gratitude can’t provide: rest.

*Pick up your copy of “The Body Keeps The Score” as mentioned by Coach Sarah in this week’s episode.

The Identity of Overdoing

Productivity can feel like identity. Host Doris Efford observes that constant motion often becomes the proof of value: if we’re not busy, we fear we’re falling behind.

Mindset coach Tiffany calls awareness the first interruption to that cycle.

“It’s being self-aware and realizing you’re doing it — and that you don’t have to. … You can delegate, you can align with your values, you can be present more.”
— Tiffany Bayne

Breaking generational habits of over-functioning doesn’t start with guilt; it starts with noticing and choosing differently. Each small pause tells the nervous system that rest is safe.

Rest as a Radical Form of Gratitude

Real rest is one of the most undervalued expressions of thankfulness. It says, my body matters enough to stop. It honors the energy that makes gratitude possible in the first place.

From a coaching perspective, rest isn’t passive. It’s an active choice to create space for the mind and body to recalibrate. When we rest, we integrate — not just recover.

Shelley often encourages clients to begin small: leaning on the kitchen counter with a cup of coffee, taking ten slow breaths, or sitting outside for a few quiet minutes. These pauses return the body to presence.

Joyce, known as The Happiness Igniter, reframes this as permission.

“We don’t have to be perfect at anything that we do. … It’s okay not to be perfect, but we’re still focusing on what’s important to us.”
— Joyce Erickson

When rest stops being the reward for exhaustion and becomes part of the rhythm of gratitude itself, guilt loses its power.

Doing Less to Find More

During the episode’s lighter moment, the coaches played Guess the Quote, and one line from Winnie the Pooh landed perfectly:

“Doing nothing often leads to the very best something.”
—Winnie the Pooh (A.A. Milne)

It’s a deceptively simple truth. In the space created by stillness, the mind clears, creativity returns, and we remember who we are outside the doing.

Taking a pause isn’t laziness — it’s leadership of self.

How to Begin Reclaiming Rest

1. Name the signal. When your body feels heavy or your patience thin, don’t override it — acknowledge it.
2. Shift from guilt to grace. Replace “I should be able to handle this” with “I’m allowed to slow down.”
3. Start small. Choose one restorative practice each day: a walk, a warm bath, or a boundary.
4. Reflect without performance. Journaling, gratitude lists, or meditation are for awareness, not achievement.
5. Seek alignment, not perfection. A coach can help identify which habits genuinely support your wellbeing instead of feeding the cycle of overdoing.

---

The Better You Perspective

🎧 Watch the Full Conversation

🎥 The Better You Show – Episode 2: Burned Out But Grateful
Learn a few tips, have a few laughs, start your journey to your better you.

---

💌 Join Our Newsletter

Each week, we share real conversations, actionable tools, and stories that remind you:
you’re not behind, and you’re not alone.

---

Final Reflection

You can be thankful and still tired.
Gratitude and exhaustion aren’t opposites. They coexist because both come from caring deeply. But caring too much without recovery leads to depletion.

Real gratitude isn’t about ignoring your limits — it’s about honoring them.
And sometimes, the most thankful thing you can do is rest.

Disclaimer

The information shared in The Better You Show and on BetterYou.coach is for educational and inspirational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical, psychological, or therapeutic advice.
Our coaches draw on professional training and lived experience to support personal growth, not to diagnose or treat health conditions.

If you are experiencing severe or ongoing emotional distress, please reach out to a qualified healthcare provider or mental health professional in your area.

Some links in this article may be affiliate links, which means we may earn a small commission if you make a purchase — at no additional cost to you. We only recommend products or resources that we personally use, love, or genuinely believe will support your journey.